Miss NC United States Recap
Miss NC United States 2018 has officially wrapped!
As many of you know, I thought I had hung up the pageant shoes for good when I got engaged. After my ex-fiance called off our wedding two days after my grandfather passed away; my world took a sharp left turn.
With all of the chaos and hurt that I was trying to process through; I knew I needed something positive and purpose driven to focus my attention on. So, I decided to dust the off the old tippy tops and just go for it!
I loved being Ms NC United States & the Miss United States Pageant has always been one of my favorite pageants I have competed in.
If you are wondering how I was Ms NC US & then could come back and compete for Miss NC US; they changed the age groups which allowed me to compete in Miss again.
On Stage Question
Thursday night it seemed all odds were against me. I got stuck in snow and ice while trying to head to the pageant. I spent hours shoveling ice and snow while trying to get my car out. Finally, after a lot of stress and many failed attempts, I got my car on the road to make it to the hotel before midnight.
I sat in my hotel room alone, zoned out, with mush brain (who knows how much time actually passed). I was still frozen from being out in the cold for so long, bundled up in a cocoon trying to get warm, all while trying not to actually touch anything so I didn't mess up my spray tan. Haha.
I remember reflecting on all the the crazy and tragic things that have happened to me over the past few months. Not in a self-pity way; but in an, 'I am doing this and surviving it. No matter how many mountains of ice I have to shovel through, I am doing this', kind of way".
I consider most of my inner dialogue as a conversation with God.
So, I was sitting there praying and arguing with God; which I have done a lot of lately. Like why God, why couldn't you just melt the ice and make this journey and weekend less crazy. I already have so much that has been hurled at me... why couldn't you just look out for me on this one, bro? Come on!
In between my venting rant with God. I remember specifically praying and asking God to let me have this opportunity. I felt like I needed it to have something exciting to look forward too.
Now, do I think God care about a pageant. Absolutely not. But, God does care about me and His word clearly tells us we are purposefully made with His will set for our good.
The real talks human part of me of course prayed to win.
My inner spirit, which is much more soft than my bold personality, knows that if it's not God's will then it's just not going to happen.
So my prayer was this,
God. i'm not sure what you are doing with me right now: but I know you have my back and you are working all things out for my good. As hard as it is to let all of it go - please just take it, because I can't take much more of any of this. You have brought me to me knees over and over. You have created me to be strong, brave, and a warrior. God, I don't have much more to give or much more that I can take. I'm running on empty. I need you. I need you to show up. I need you to fight these battles for me, because I can't anymore. So, whatever it is, whatever you have planned for me, whatever your path is for my life, whatever you need me to do for the kingdom, whatever the call is, whatever reason that the past 3 months had to happen for - I'm trusting that you still have me. You haven't forgotten me. You are still working all things out for my good. So God, whatever that bigger picture looks like - I am giving this weekend's outcome to you. If this is part of your plan for my life to use this platform to glorify your name; then let it be. If this isn't in your plan for me - then let it pass me by.
Ultimately, God was saying.. no you don't need a pageant to get through this - you just need Me.
"but Did you win?"
So, was it His plan? Did I win?
No - It wasn't in the cards for me. The opportunity came and went.
I placed 3rd runner up and
won the Savannah Rae Brown Style Icon Award!
Did it suck not winning? Of course!
Did it hurt my feelings and pride a little bit? Of course!
At the end of the day it is only a pageant.
I have to trust that it wasn't in God's plan for me. That He has something else for me to do and a different road to do it on... and that's ok.
God's plan may not always sound like it was 'something better' at this time or even ever. However, I know His plan is something purposefully gifted to me from Him to live out and fulfill. The path that God has gifted us with isn't always the easy looking one. That's why it takes faith and a relationship with God to understand that His plan is always in your favor even when it doesn't have all the rhinestones in it.
I gave it to God, and He gave me his plan and purpose.
Congratulations to Arlene Grady - Miss NC US 2018!
She is an awesome chic, who is genuinly sweet and beautiful inside and out! We will be cheering you on at Miss US!
I have no idea... and that's ok!
Right now I will keep arguing with God (I joke, kind of), keep pressing into where I feel He is leading me while revealing whatever His plan is for me.
I will continue leading mission teams and work hard to keep World Missions Outreach running full steam ahead!
If you would like to join us on a mission team
We have teams all year round! We would love for you to join us!
I will keep growing Passport Confessional Boutique!
I love it and it provides me with an income to survive while I continue to do missions! For any collaborative interest