New Orleans, Louisiana
Let's talk about food... nom nom nom
When you think of New Orleans, Cajun cooking is at the top of the list, right?
Brunch is my very favorite meal of the day! I love it. I don't have to be on time to it. It's just as confused as I am on what I want to be served or eat. It is laid back & I am not required to explain for the billionth time as to why I don't like bacon, but still like BBQ. Really… not you too. I know… my dislike for bacon is treasonous, but it is my one and only flaw… I get a pass. Now that the shock is over, let's talk about Lukes.
Ok Lukes… It is spelled with the special U that has the dots over it. Now, my keyboard isn't that fancy or is it considered that hipster rather…. It could go either way at this point.
I have a severely short attention span when it comes to reading a menu. I know what I like. I know what I don't like and all the rest is just overlooked. Terrible, but I know I am not the only one. That being said, when you start adding all these words that I don't know nor can pronounce, I immediate become overwhelmed and lose interest.
This scenario is typically followed by this conversation:
'May I please have a taco. Wait, no I just want a normal taco...you know with just lettuce, cheese and sour cream please…. Yes, I am serious. No, I don't want to just try it like it comes. No, really thats what I want, a normal taco. So what you are really saying is that your chef is too elitist to serve normal tacos…No? Oh, I see… total sense made, he must be a celebrity chef.... is he a celebrity chef- come on, what is his name? Oh yea… Billy Bob… you don't say…uh huh. Well, I have never heard of him, but I have heard of taco's with lettuce, cheese and sour cream! Isn't half of going out to eat all about the experience and good time you are suppose to have. Well, I am certainly not having a good time now…. Can we go somewhere else where I am not made to feel bad for knowing what I like.
Ok my rant is over, for now. Luckily, the above scenario did NOT happen at Lukes with the special U. However, the menu was just too over the top. I couldn't even get through the first two appetizers without my head starting to hurt and my eyes starting to follow the mimosas going to everyone else's tables. This is brunch, right? Brunch is supposed to be relaxing, so why am I feeling so stressed about ordering food. This menu made me feel like my brunch was in jeopardy of being ruined. I couldn't make a decision because I had no clue as to what the menu actually was trying to serve. The whole thing was over run with loose and unessisary adjectives all strung together for no good reason. Maybe there is a Shakespeare theme no one told me about. I can't be alone in this feeling, right?
Point being, I said nuh huh…. Nathan, you got to order me things or else Im going to just start pointing at the menu, using my hooked on phonics to try and explain what ever my finger landed on and insist on having extra ketchup as a back up plan.
Let's be clear, when the food came out…. Holy Mother of grits, the food was perfection. In short, we got the Crawfish Omelet & the Chicken Biscuit with a side of Jalapeno Grits (the easiest things on the menu to understand). When dining at Lukes with the special U, I stopped reading the omelet description after the first few words. Since then, I actually took the time to look up the menu to try & decode some sense into what I was reading. The first few words under the delicious omelet I had were, 'Progress milk barn fromage blanc'.
Right…. ok, so of course I googled this nonsense of mangled words thrown together. Uh hum, here we go, try and keep up.
First off, it said progress milk. I'm 27 years old and the word progress reminds me of 2 things.
One, the feeling you get when your teachers passes out a paper evaluating your grades before your report card. You know It's bad, so you start practicing how to forge your parents signature. This leaves your 7 year old self thinking that when your parents disown you over your grades, you are ready to become an art & diamond thief. You decide that wearing a cape and surviving from heist to heist might be a career you are actually interested in…. Only then, you realize that you can't forge their signatures well enough to make a living and all your hopes and dreams that you didn't even know you had are suddenly crushed.
Or the second is something about Obama promising change & progress. Yea.... since we are still trillions of dollars in debt as a country, I feel like this has kind of a negative undertone that I don't want to think about while eating my omelet. I'm not sipping the hateraid... all I am saying is - Thank you, but no thank youprogressive milk.
Ok real talks, Progress Milk is apparently approved for kids that are 3 years of age or younger. Ok... I'm not sure how many kids under 3 are chowing down on a crawfish omelet, but at least i'm kind of following you now.
Apparently, there is a specific milk barn in Mississippi that specializes in this 'progress' milk. Kudos to you, Luke with the special U, for using local farms. I see you. - Although, It still sounds like some, 'how hipster can we make it sound so it seems supper trendy and people think its healthy', marketing bs.
Fromage… now this is one of two things. 1. It could be the annual Canadian MuchMusic one hour show special or 2. it could be a type of french cheese. I think it is safe to say it is option number 2. Ok, so cheese… I like cheese. Blanc… this is the easy part, both the cheese and milk are white. I see what you did there, Luke with the special U. Very original.
Now see… that wasn't that hard was it. If you would have just said, hey this is made with our special milk from a local farm and we added on some white french 'optional name drop for specific clarification here' cheese… You would have saved me a lot of headache and I would of actually known what I was orderng.
Lukes with the special U, Let me sum it up fot you.
-Your food is on point and amazingly delicious.
-Reading your menu (the golden ticket to the amazing food you serve) is absolutely terrifying & unenjoyable.
-Your service is great.
-Your vibe is cool.
-I want to like you, Luke with the special U. I really do.
Now don't get me wrong. I love food and not just the 5th grade mom-made plain dry sandwich with the crust cut off type of food. I like exotic food and I am not scared to try new things. I am just saying, if I am going to eat your food I need to be able to pronounce the name and understand what I am about to eat.
So come on Lukes with your Special U. Your food is amazing. You got a lot of things going on for you. Think about it though, you are in the heart of New Orleans. A place where everyones trying to have a fun time, cure their year round mardi gras hangovers, make memories and enjoy a relaxing experience. If I feel like I have mush brain due to trying to decode what your menu offers… it's no longer fun or enjoyable.
Your food speaks for itself and your vibe is awesome, but your menu presentation sucks. There, I said it.
Dude… if it's a grilled cheese sandwich, call it a grilled cheese sandwich. I don't know, you may be owning it with sales. If you are, thats awesome, but as a customer it doesn't make sense or match the feeling of what New Orleans is supposed to feel like to me.