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Why I Stopped Praying

Updated: May 23, 2019

Amanda Sowards Humanitarian of the Year

Why I stopped Praying

Life is funny & ironic. It has seasons. Some are full of happiness or success & some are full of heartbreak or failures. For all of us, life can be messy & full things we would like to swipe left on. We may have triumphant moments & periods of pinch me, it's to good to be true. Then there's everything else in between.

The beginning of this year I was in the in between season. I was restless, lonely, distracted & feeling useless. I felt like I was living with no purpose & no real goals. I was just existing. Finding any kind of distraction to pass my time.

I was unhappy & searching for something to fill the void of restlessness.

I was so caught up in doing 'Gods work' & doing what I thought I should do; that I forgot to actually spend anytime with God to seek his guidance of what He wanted me to do. I was fighting so hard to try and do it my way - all on my own - that I never spent anytime building my relationship with God or inviting Him in to help me realize what He was seeking me out to do. I was stuck on my plan, not His. I was working so hard, but getting no where. Exhausting myself to the point of being burned out.

In January I decided to stop praying. I decided to open my inner dialog up to always be a conversation with God. I decided to always invite God to have an open communication with me. See, when I was praying it became only a one way conversation. I would pray, check it off my list & that was that. That's no way to build a relationship or grow spiritually. I was shutting God out & making it all about me.

I promised God to always leave the conversation open & be obedient to what He wanted to show me or have me do.

Now, this doesn't mean God actually speaks to me or we have audible conversations. I'm not some lightened being that hears Gods voice. God speaks to you quietly though many ways including the Bible, other people, your intuition & circumstances.

Whatever your season is in life, you have to be open to allow God into your circumstances if you expect growth or change. Praise him in the highs & lows. God has already promised us our hearts desires, it is our choice to step into receiving the promises he has already given us.

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